Lead me not into temptation, but deliver me from evil...

The last few weeks have been crazy. There has been so much change in such a short period of time. I was on a spiritual peak as I left Liberty to come to my new base. God definitely brought me here... I know that... I have just been experience attacks unlike any I have experienced since I was first made aware of our Saviors loving Grace. I have been crying out to My God to deliver me from this temptation and the disobedience that I have been experiencing but then turning my ear to see who else I hear when he replies. I have truly learned that Pride comes before the fall, and makes it easy to fall into old habits. When you are struggling with obedience it is soo easy to feel as though you are slowly building a wall between you and God... each word, thought, action that is against his will serving as a brick tightly locking into places as they slip out of your control. I actually reached a point last week where I felt as though this was it... I had reached the place where I was complacent and had resigned myself to my flesh... my complaining... my stress... my sarcasm... my wants... my bitterness... my discontentment... my personal idols that I use to feel fulfilled. I have been teetering back and forth between being completely saddened by my state and longing for the more that God has definitely promised me and completely content with the world and thinking things were as they should be.

Then Yesterday Came...

I sat in my hooch crying out to the Lord asking him why in the world he would send me to a place where I had no spiritual support when I was at a base where I was plugged into church and actually being encouraged and growing. I thought back to the gospel services that I attended on New Years and throughout my time at Liberty. I missed that feeling of people filled with the Spirit.

Flash Forward to Today...

This morning I walked to work praying to God and thanking him for loving us even though we are flawed and unlovable most of the time... I felt so unloved and unworthy of all the promises that God has made to me. I got to work and it was an ordinary day... until God started to move in a conversation with a friend who is experiencing a similar desert in his faith and obedience... I started to realize that I have a choice to make ... not tomorrow but today ... I am either going to walk in his will or not... and the choice is mine... I don't want to be Levi... I don't want to go for the Land that looks good to me... I want to wait for the promised Land that God has promised me. So I made this decision in my mind... and the day started to turn bright... I could hear my God and I could feel his Spirit... I was working hard and stocking Sodas when I hear someone from above me... I look up and there is a familiar face that I can't seem to place.

"You are from Liberty aren't you?"

"Yes" I replied

"You went to gospel service at Warrior Chapel right? I am the choir director"

"Yeah I went there.. are you here now?"

"Yeah" he said "Our unit just moved here so we are starting the church up here... the Chaplain is trying to figure out when services are going to be and I think he is going to be setting up a women's ministry and Bible Study on Tuesdays"

Seriously God!!! You moved an entire church for your daughter.... he never ceases to amaze me... I cry out to him and the next day this happens... Right when you think you are unlovable and that God couldn't possibly want to deal with you he does something so amazing and unexpected...

Later tonight I was on IM and I got this message...

kurt: pst
Bekah: yeah
kurt: I hear Jesus loves you

The perfect ending to a wonderful and hopeful day... I love how God can talk to us in so many ways...

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord"

Romans 8:37-39

Blog from January 18th...

Detour….
So I haven’t really been blogging much. It is a shame also cause there has been so much happening. Adam came to visit Liberty and him and I befriended the Ugandans there on Camp. One of them Diana told us that there was a Church service there in their living camp and so he and I decided to go. It was dark out as we drove around base in search of “Tent 50” which is the Church. When we finally got there we had to walk amidst the T walls in the dark and were only able to find its location because of the booming sound of what sounded like a tent full of strong voices singing Hallelujah over and over. We walked toward the source of the sound… opened the tent door…to find only a handful of people swaying with eyes closed and voices shouting to the Lord. It was one of the most magnificent feelings that I have ever had worshipping with the Ugandan people. There is something Big about finding yourself as a Mexican American… In Iraq… worshipping with Ugandans. It is such an amazing feeling knowing that God brought you across the world just so that he could give you that opportunity.
I can’t even describe how sweet the members of the church were and Adam and I attended their service everyday of that week that we were together at Liberty. One of the days that week Brad, Richard, Staley, Tek, Adam and I were driving home from the Chow Hall when I started talking about how I really wanted to be able to see the Sabers at the IZ and be able to fly in a Black Hawk and how I wished that I were at a smaller base with a smaller store where I would be able to meet more soldiers and have more personal one on one contact with my customers. I kid you not… THE NEXT DAY I was working in the container yard moving merchandise when my Boss’s boss comes up to me and tells me that I am going to be moving to the IZ, taking a Black Hawk over there, going to a small store, and going to be able to see my sister on a regular basis. Praise the Lord for knowing my hearts desires and having it in the works before I even knew or thought to voice that I wanted those things. I am still amazed as I sit here in my new room, after a long day at my new store, with my new roommate. Which is another thing… she is an interpreter for the military and is from Jordan originally but is an American. She is Muslim and devout at that. All of the time she is in the room she is reading the Quran and she wakes up at midnight every night to pray. It should be interesting living with her. I wonder why God put us together. I need to be strong and voice my faith and be willing to stand up for it if need be. I tend to shy away from being vocal when I am in contact with people who are strong in other faiths. I can’t wait to see what the Lord is doing here and what he has planned. Maybe I am supposed to learn Arabic… who knows.